Day before Eat Shit or Die-abetes Plan

The Ecuadorians laugh at Mr. B riding in the stroller.

This is actually my notes from Nov. 19th, the day before I go on my eat shit and die-abetes plan.  I had good intentions to get a head start.  I weighed and I am 5 lbs. heavier than 2 months ago when I totally ditched my healthy eating habits.  My blood sugar was 268.  I downed a metformin and coffee with a tsp of sugar and headed out the door with Mr. Beagleman for a walk.  Mr. Beagleman has gained a pound since we started our walking plan days ago so we both hope our scale is off.

We think the evil Eva, our 8 pound long hair dachshund is sabotaging us by turning up the scale so we will weigh more.  Eva looks cute, but she's named after Eva Peron, so that says enough. That's her on the left.

The day pretty much went to shit after my healthy walk.  I did down a green juice drink my blood pressure med and cholesterol med.  Then headed out to breakfast with my friend CJ for breakfast.  I had a omelet and tosta integral (wheat).  I talked about going to Patrick the naturopath.  I'm concerned because anyone with a 'opath' at the end of their title scares me - like socio-path, psych-opath.  I hear he is 'devout' to his alternative treatments which include micro-currents (downgraded voltage version of the old fashioned electroshock therapy programs - I hear faint screams of Frances Farmer).  Vitamins, special teas, EFT, probably a coffee enema or two thrown in.  CJ looks disgusted.

"I'm not doing any coffee enemas".  I haven't know CJ long and fear if I disclose too much she'll pull the plug on our newfound friendship.  Living in Cuenca with only 3000 expats in our fold doesn't leave a lot of room for error.  One wrong statement and the entire clan could shun you.

"You'll change your mind if I lose 10 pounds in one day," and CJ agrees she might give it a try.  Her idea of a perfect hour is on a massage table getting a deep rub, an IV of wine hooked up to her arm, and a chocolate mint on her pillow.

I then have lunch with my friend Sandy.  We catch up quickly as we can, dissing our husband, who we now live with full time since retirement.   We are then attending a conversational Spanish class.  Sandy, her husband Mike, and I have been taking classes from different places for 7 months and we still barely speak Tarzan Spanish.  Mike and I like to refer to ourselves as dumb and dumber. He skips the class so he can have a few hours of non stop computer play while Sandy joins me.  We spend the next hour trying to utter words to form sentences that make sense with the other gringos at the table.  I called my friend Gail hot for sex, when I actually meant her food was hot.  After that I was pretty quiet.  But it was fun.  Good practice.  And for lunch I order 'comer de hamburgesa y ensalada'.  And ate the entire big oversized burger plus some of Gail's fries.

I walked Sandy to her bus stop and continued the hour walk to spend time with Naturopath Patrick, famed curing of diabetics in Cuenca.  I'll talk about him in the next post.  Everything he said made since, but since I had already blown the day, I thought I'd continue my final blow out day by eating two pieces of pizza before I went out to dinner.  I don't usually binge eat like this - but I feared it will be a long time since I shook hands with a pizza again - so the already non existent will power was tossed aside.

The last step in my day of decadence was dinner out with American and Euadorian friends at what we call Iberian Cheers-it's located in Iberia Park.  My friend Judy had cooked Tex-Mex and strawberry cake. I am sure none of this is on the new health plan.  I did pass on wine and beer - woo-hoo.  I washed my metformin down with diet coke.

I popped half a ambien, 2 Niacin tablets and 2 aspirin. At 10:30pm I shared half a piece of cake with Samantha, our shepherd.

I'm suppose to write down everything I eat and drink and show it to Patrick-opath.  I am sure when he analyzes my diet, he will probably list my time left in minutes rather than years.